Man's perspective

• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

• The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

• 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'

• Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
  1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
  2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

• A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

• First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
  Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'